No One Else.

A brief Primer on what it is to make life decisions, through the muddied eyes of Craig.

I think we can all agree that LIFE is the ultimate cause of DEATH, can’t we? Even the safest of safe lives will end. Why? Because they were alive to begin with. That being the basis for further analysis, one can say that all the possible activities afforded to us during our lifetimes will have varying effects on the SPEED at which we meet our final dismissal. So, all activities, absolutely, further one toward death, at varying speeds. Jogging every morning is safer than drinking a pint of turpentine. But drinking a pint of turpentine is safer than landmine hopscotch. And jogging in the morning is not as safe as swimming in the morning (no traffic, less wear-and-tear on the joints, blah-blah-blah). But swimming in shark infested waters with an ankle cut would probably lead to a faster death than the pint of turpentine. It really depends.

No activity will STOP death. Nothing.

The point is, all activities can be measured by their addition/subtraction to your velocity as you hurtle towards death. NOT smoking saves you from what? Death? Nope. Sure, you’ll avoid some yellowing of the teeth, or burns on your floorboards. But death still has your card. Will aerobic exercise derail the grim reaper train? Nope. You’re going to die anyway. Maybe later, maybe sooner. You have no idea. All activities, or the exclusion of activities, can only adjust your ETA. That being my point, the question that comes to me is whether or not you should bother too much with such details. Isn’t it really more of a question of preference rather than a question of absolute truth? If YOU feel that something is taking away from your quality of life, then you remove it. If YOU feel like your life is missing something, then you start looking for it. Some things you remove might be good for you. Some things you find will turn out worse for you. You never can tell at the onset, for most things anyhow.

Somewhere in the middle of these processes is your life, for better or for worse. One can only hope to live, and to die, by their own terms. And if that includes cigarettes, jogging three times a week, head spins, professional wrestling, diversification techniques of the Indian bond market, broccoli, single malt scotch, and lots of pixie sticks… well then, who is honestly, truly, justly qualified to argue against it?

No one else.

Me: So why would you want to do heroin? I mean, that shit will run your life, ruin your family, and then leave you as a wasted shell of a human to die in a puddle of your own wrecked misery.

Addict: Well, if I told you that I had a pill you could take, which would make you feel more accomplished than you ever will be, happier than a person ever could be, and more fulfilled than you could ever work to be, would you try it to see?

Me: Sure, why not?

Addict: Of course you would. Everyone’s looking for something.

Me: So, you’re saying heroin is like that?

Addict: Yes. It is.

Me: Well, if it is so wonderful and great, why are you trying to stop?

Addict: Because this shit won’t kill me fast enough.