Thursday, March 24, 2005

Guessing for GOD.

My brother was dicking around with this website named 20q.net. Now the point of this site is to guess whatever it is you are thinking of within 20 questions ('unknown', while available as an answer is apparently not acceptable, damnit). A friend of ours, Dungster, answered the challenge by trying to get the thing to guess 'god'. Needless to say, it was stumped. There have been all kinds of answers produced by the thing, and I wanted to share mine.

If your god is as difficult to pin-down as I belive it would be, then you will, without a doubt, give the 20Q machine the same bit of confusion.

It hit a couple of metaphors for god (at least, as far as I am concerned, philisophically), but never guessed it by name. My comments on the process are in purple. Enjoy, and please try this yourself. Let me know how yours goes!

BEGIN GAME ---------------------------------------

It is classified as Unknown.
A Good start, I believe.
1 Can it be heard? No.
Well, no god I've ever heard of made any known sounds to me.
2 Could you send it in the mail? No.
Next.
3 Could it be found in a classroom? Yes.
Especially in the south, to counter evolution theory.
# Is it larger than a microwave oven (or bread box)? Unknown.
Eh?
# Can you buy it? Unknown.
I should have answered this one 'probably', but I'm hedging my bets here.
# Is it heavier than a pound of butter? Unknown.
I noticed that the thing wouldn't count 'Unknown' answers, so there are no more.
4 Is it manufactured? Yes.
Your philosophy might not fit mine. What?
5 Is it found in a bathroom? Yes.
I have definitely seen MY god in the bathroom on occasion.
6 Do you clean it regularly? No.
This is a given. I'm a dude. I clean NOTHING regularly.
7 Can you switch it on and off? Yes.
Just look at Bush.
8 Is it bright? Depends.
There is more than one meaning for the word.
9 Is it usually warm? No.
My god would be a cold-ass mutha.
10 Is it smaller than a loaf of bread? Irrelevant.
Honestly, I didn't want to type 'irrelevant', but I already said 'unknown' to the breadbox.
11 Is it square shaped? Probably.
And round shaped, and trapezoidal, and rhomboid
12 Does it use electricity? Yes.
Sure. Why not?
13 Do you use it with a computer? No.
No god amongst these circuits.
14 Is it flat? Sometimes.
At some point or another, it would have to be every dimension.
15 Would you find it on a farm? Yes.
Remember 'The Dust Bowl' of the late twenties? Yep.
16 Can it affect you (cause an effect to you)? Depends.
This all depends on whether I choose to believe, I suppose.
17 I guess that it is a light switch? No.
No, No, No. Stupid game.
18 Does it weigh more than a duck? Irrelevant.
Who picked that question? Ducks have different weights.
19 Does it break if dropped? Depends.
Depends on who you ask.
20 I guess that it is a clock's second hand? No.
Whoa, that came from left field.
21 Does it provide protection? Depends.
Sometimes you'd need protection from it.
22 Is it electronic? No.
This may be arguable. But I'll stick to my first answer.
23 Do you use it at work? No.
That would be against company policy. Others do though.
24 Does it burn? Sometimes.
Like, when god gets mad at little white kids at the beach. Fucker.
25 Does it get wet? Doubtful.
That would require it to have surfaces of some sort.
26 Is it made out of wood? Irrelevant.
Stupid.
27 Can you lift it? No.
But it can lift YOU by way of hymns! Or so they say.
28 Does it have lights on it? Probably.
It might be a spaceship for all I know. Or a Christmas tree.
29 I guess that it is the ceiling? Close.
Not bad, not bad! But no cigar. Where's the good word?
I am guessing that it is a wall? Close
Best metaphor I've ever heard. Ever.

Did I win? I mean, 'wall'? Good enough for me, shit. It didn't get it within 20 though, so that shows some desperation on its part. So, I suppose that gives me the win here. Well, so will anyone else playing the thing. Try it out and post your results. I'm curious!

10 comments:

Sean said...

"7 Can you switch it on and off? Yes. Just look at Bush."

ZIIING!

Truecraig said...

Yeah, I know. Cheap shot. What can I say? I have NO shame.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I like the #7, and the classroom, purchasing and using at work references - maybe it couldn't guess because you are coming from an open-minded area. Now, I want to know what you could answer to make it guess God. Maybe if you tried to answer as if you were a good ol' god-fearing Baptist or Pope-worthy Catholic. But maybe the program doesn't consider God an answer ever. This could get all kinsa creepy.
lbm

Devil in a red dress named liz said...

Enjoyed that. Your link doesn't work! I'm willing to give it a go. I'll try anything once. Give me the right link and I will follow.

EcamirG said...

Brillante.

Truecraig said...

Damn. Sorry about the jacked-up link. I shall fix, immediately. Dammit all to hell...

Devil in a red dress named liz said...

Well, I won! But it came close. It's final guess was a tornado and then said it was one of these:
Is it one of these ...
a lightning bolt
an ocean wave
a storm
a maple tree
a tsunami
a rain forest
a jacaranda (tree)
sea serpent (maybe mythical)
hurricane
a wormhole
fog
a demon
a volcano
a kudzu vine
lava
a thunderstorm

I said "no" to xenomorph but I have no idea what that is! The full game went as follows from last guess to first:

I am guessing that it is a tornado?

29. I guess that it is a xenomorph? No.
28. Does it contain a lot of water? Irrelevant.
27. Is it dangerous? Yes.
26. Can it bend without breaking? Yes.
25. Does it come in different colors? Irrelevant.
24. Can you walk on it? Doubtful.
Does it make sound? Unknown.
23. Does it grow over time? Yes.
22. Does it contain a liquid? Irrelevant.
21. Does it get really hot? Depends.
20. I guess that it is an oak tree? No.
19. I guess that it is a birch tree? No.
18. Does it burn? Yes.
Does it weigh more than 1 ton? Unknown.
17. Is it brown? No.
16. Is it something you can purchase? No.
15. Can you buy it at a store? No.
14. Would you use it in a garden? Irrelevant.
13. Would you find it on a farm? Yes.
12. Do you make something with it? Irrelevant.
11. Can it change size? Yes.
10. Is it tall? Yes.
9. Is it bigger than sofa? Yes.
Is it usually colorful? Unknown.
8. Is it alive? Depends.
7. Can you control it? No.
6. Is it multicolored? Irrelevant.
5. Can you make money by selling it? Yes.
4. Is it warm blooded? No.
3. Do you clean it regularly? No.
2. Is it larger than a microwave oven (or bread box)? Yes.
Can it make a sound? Unknown.
1. Do you hold it when you use it? No.
It is classified as Unknown.

Truecraig said...

"Can you make money by selling it? YES" That is GOLDEN! Too fucking true. Makes me want to cry tsunami tears... of a sea serpent... (maybe mythical).

Good times!

Sara said...

Since I have the sense of humor of a teenager, I did the obvious.
You won!
Play Again
You were thinking of something to do with sex.
Is it colorful? You said Sometimes, I say No.
Is it made of plastic? You said Sometimes, I say No.
Does it roll? You said Sometimes, I say No.
Does it spin? You said Sometimes, I say Doubtful.
Is it multicolored? You said Sometimes, I say No.
Does it help accomplish tasks? You said Yes, I say No.
Do you use it in public? You said Sometimes, I say No.
Contradictions Detected
It does not matter if our answers disagree, as over time the game will change its answers to reflect common knowledge. If you feel that the game is in error, the only way to fix it is to play again.
Get your mind out of the gutter! I am not allowed to talk about stuff like this, but, I am guessing that it has something to do with sex?
Yes , No , Close
29. I guess that it is a tobacco pipe? No.
28. Could you send it in the mail? Depends.
27. Can it fit in an envelope? Irrelevant.
26. Do you use it in public? Sometimes.
25. Do you carry it in your pocket? Depends.
24. Can you put something into it? Yes.
23. Does it break if dropped? Irrelevant.
22. I guess that it is fun? Close. (I suppose this could be the answer)
21. Does it help accomplish tasks? Yes.
20. I guess that it is music? No.
19. Does it store information? No.
18. Can you buy it? Yes.
17. Can you make sounds with it ? Yes.
16. Do you know any songs about it? Yes.
15. Is it multicolored? Sometimes. (see #6)
14. Is it round? No.
13. Can you use it to hit something? No.
12. Does it spin? Sometimes.
11. Was it used over 100 years ago? Yes.
10. Does it roll? Sometimes.
9. Is it made of plastic? Sometimes. (I don't think I need to explain)
8. Is it heavier than a pound of butter? No. (I probably should have answered irrelevant)
7. Is it human powered? Yes.
6. Is it colorful? Sometimes. (depends on what kind of drug you might be on or if it was between two people of different races)
5. Is it square shaped? Irrelevant.
4. Is it used for entertainment? Yes.
3. Would you give it as a gift? Yes.
2. Is it larger than a microwave oven (or bread box)? Irrelevant.
1. It is classified as Other.

Truecraig said...

Well hello there Sara! "Does it roll?" HELL YES IT ROLLS! If it's any good, it better. Call me what you may, but I almost prefer it be multicolored. Perhaps it is all those Benetton adverts I saw as an impressionable teen...