My brother was dicking around with this website named 20q.net. Now the point of this site is to guess whatever it is you are thinking of within 20 questions ('unknown', while available as an answer is apparently not acceptable, damnit). A friend of ours, Dungster, answered the challenge by trying to get the thing to guess 'god'. Needless to say, it was stumped. There have been all kinds of answers produced by the thing, and I wanted to share mine.
If your god is as difficult to pin-down as I belive it would be, then you will, without a doubt, give the 20Q machine the same bit of confusion.
It hit a couple of metaphors for god (at least, as far as I am concerned, philisophically), but never guessed it by name. My comments on the process are in purple. Enjoy, and please try this yourself. Let me know how yours goes!
BEGIN GAME ---------------------------------------
It is classified as Unknown.
A Good start, I believe.
1 Can it be heard? No.
Well, no god I've ever heard of made any known sounds to me.
2 Could you send it in the mail? No.
3 Could it be found in a classroom? Yes.
Especially in the south, to counter evolution theory.
# Is it larger than a microwave oven (or bread box)? Unknown.
# Can you buy it? Unknown.
I should have answered this one 'probably', but I'm hedging my bets here.
# Is it heavier than a pound of butter? Unknown.
I noticed that the thing wouldn't count 'Unknown' answers, so there are no more.
4 Is it manufactured? Yes.
Your philosophy might not fit mine. What?
5 Is it found in a bathroom? Yes.
I have definitely seen MY god in the bathroom on occasion.
6 Do you clean it regularly? No.
This is a given. I'm a dude. I clean NOTHING regularly.
7 Can you switch it on and off? Yes.
Just look at Bush.
8 Is it bright? Depends.
There is more than one meaning for the word.
9 Is it usually warm? No.
My god would be a cold-ass mutha.
10 Is it smaller than a loaf of bread? Irrelevant.
Honestly, I didn't want to type 'irrelevant', but I already said 'unknown' to the breadbox.
11 Is it square shaped? Probably.
And round shaped, and trapezoidal, and rhomboid
12 Does it use electricity? Yes.
Sure. Why not?
13 Do you use it with a computer? No.
No god amongst these circuits.
14 Is it flat? Sometimes.
At some point or another, it would have to be every dimension.
15 Would you find it on a farm? Yes.
Remember 'The Dust Bowl' of the late twenties? Yep.
16 Can it affect you (cause an effect to you)? Depends.
This all depends on whether I choose to believe, I suppose.
17 I guess that it is a light switch? No.
No, No, No. Stupid game.
18 Does it weigh more than a duck? Irrelevant.
Who picked that question? Ducks have different weights.
19 Does it break if dropped? Depends.
Depends on who you ask.
20 I guess that it is a clock's second hand? No.
Whoa, that came from left field.
21 Does it provide protection? Depends.
Sometimes you'd need protection from it.
22 Is it electronic? No.
This may be arguable. But I'll stick to my first answer.
23 Do you use it at work? No.
That would be against company policy. Others do though.
24 Does it burn? Sometimes.
Like, when god gets mad at little white kids at the beach. Fucker.
25 Does it get wet? Doubtful.
That would require it to have surfaces of some sort.
26 Is it made out of wood? Irrelevant.
27 Can you lift it? No.
But it can lift YOU by way of hymns! Or so they say.
28 Does it have lights on it? Probably.
It might be a spaceship for all I know. Or a Christmas tree.
29 I guess that it is the ceiling? Close.
Not bad, not bad! But no cigar. Where's the good word?
I am guessing that it is a wall? Close
Best metaphor I've ever heard. Ever.
Did I win? I mean, 'wall'? Good enough for me, shit. It didn't get it within 20 though, so that shows some desperation on its part. So, I suppose that gives me the win here. Well, so will anyone else playing the thing. Try it out and post your results. I'm curious!