Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Whoooaaa.... some kinda irritated.

Holy shit. I managed to REALLY piss myself off today. Over nothing. Oh, but how it does bother me. I mean, really-really-really f*cking does bother me. I consider myself a pretty laid back fellow, of most topics, most of the time. But some things... remain unforgivable in my eyes. Amongst the forbidden:
1) Murder for sport
2) Designing devices to torture disabled children
3) Aiming for puppies while driving
4) Telemarketing
5) Allowing your account to be overdrawn through negligence

Yes, number 5 fits in perfectly with the others. In my mind, anyway. Well, maybe not the telemarketers, for they occupy the lowest depths of Hades, and number 1 sometimes feels like a reasonable solution to them.

That being over-stated, here's my itch:

Somehow or another, within what might be described as "creative" constructs of my personal financial management menagerie, I "managed" to get overdrawn on my checking account. How f*cking college freshman is that? Uhhh...errrr I can't seem to add or subtract right... uhhh... Goddamnit.

I've done some pretty unacceptable and repugnant things in my life. All of them, in the eyes of Johnny Law (and the general public), are considerably worse than bouncing a check-card purchase (or two, or five). But somehow, the inability of a person to manage their cash has always been, in my eyes, a strong indicator of general ineptitude and definite fiscal clumsiness. And somewhere, somehow, that contempt for those who refuse to balance a f*cking checkbook produced a seed of idiocy, which (yesterday) grew into a magnificent beanstalk of magnificent, irreverent stupidity. And I shimmied right up that mother f*cker, laughing and splaying middle fingers at my responsibilities like some sort of silver-spooned, adult-sized, profoundly and hysterically retarded six-year-old who had never heard of money. Hell, I might as well have peed myself, then touched the wet spot, and raise my fingers up to my nose, in a most curious fashion, to sniff them while giggling and drooling.

Why the hell not? I can't seem to be able to get my arithmetic straight, why not just degrade all the way down to where things are truly simple: entertainment through excrement, happiness through humors secretion. F*ck it. Why the hell not?

You can relate, can't you? To my pain? My frustration? Ah, forget it. You're right. Who am I kidding? It really isn't that big a deal when compared to Telemarketing.

No comments: