Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Have you ever jumped from a plane? An AIRplane? Parachute and the whole nine?

If you haven’t, you need to. There’s something completely freeing about the whole thing. The FREE fall. The FREE feet, dangling above the approaching surface. The FREE vision of the curvature of the Earth. The FREEdom to yell as loud as you want and not hear a goddamn thing.

The cost, however, is far from free. I would classify it as… luxury-level prohibitive. I mean, it’s a fifty second freefall followed by a five minute parachute-float to the ground, ending with you landing on your ass in a field.

For one hundred and fifty smackeroos. American. See what I’m saying? Damn.

The wait to fly up was lengthy though. We got to kick it out in the heat with the wasps and bees. And hordes of smoking waiters. Not the table waiting variety. They were waiting to fall from a perfectly good plane, just like us. And they smoked like chimneys. Like me. Honestly, when you’re about to place your life in the hands of the potentially meth-bent who are rolling up parachutes into a ratty back pack, you don’t give two shits about your probability of developing lung cancer.

Fuck. It.

Fuck it.


Anonymous said...

That is on my "to do" list. I guess once I get my shit together, I'll get some folks together and take the plunge. Skydiving seems pretty dope.

brother nick


I have been wanting to do this soooo bad - it is also on my list.
I need to do it before my body really breaks down, i swear, my knees, my ankles - my shit is BROKE!! hahahah
I have parasailed (sp) - you know where you get on a boat and get strapped to this parachute thing and you get cranked into the air - this was very cool - it is so dam quiet up there, just you and the sky, and the DEEP DEEP shark infested ocean below - i did it in Spain, it was very magical - haha MAGICAL, i never use this word, but you get my drift.

Anonymous said...

im with misty...everyone that i know that hasn't done it probably never will..im stuck in my own landdweller purgatory..anyone wanna do in in h-town gimme a holla.


Bella_by_Barlight said...

Nope, I'm not gonna do it. But, I did decide a long long time ago that if I was ever really suicidal, I would try skydiving. My theory is that there is nothing like facing the (natural) human fear of death head-on to snap you out of a funk. I figure, once the parachute opens, you feel so glad to be alive the idea of dying doesn't seem as appealing any more.

How's THAT for cognitive behavioural therapy!

Truecraig said...

Brother – I’ll jump with you and Dungster if the money and opportunity ever collide while I’m in H-town. I hear you can do it in Katy somewhere. Farmland and shit.

Misty – GO GO GO! Parasailing scares me. Because sharks scare me. Amongst my friends, this is a well known and relatively well documented issue with me. I can’t even watch Jabber Jaw without an adrenaline rush.

Dungmeister – I’ll go with you and Nick, someday…

Bella – I am surprised at your lack of adventurous spirit. But I am not surprised at your humorous introspection.

katie said...

I jumped from a plane once. It was also my first plane ride in memory, so it was doubly thrilling in a way. I agree: I told my friends and coworkers that it would be my new hobby ifn I weren't poor. I just don't understand why everyone is so preoccupied with death and paralysis. The chances have got to be so low...

Girl With An Alibi said...

I have absolutely no desire to skydive but Bella has a good point. Maybe somebody should take a bunch of suicidal people skydiving as therapy. Tandem, of course, just in case the therapy aspect doesn't kick-in in time.

Truecraig said...

Katie: I agree COMPLETELY on the risk factor thing. My ‘jumpmate’, the professional who pushed me out of the plane, told me he has jumped 2,400 times. Out of those jumps, he has used his secondary chute four times. That’s a 1 in 600 chance of primary chute failure. Assume the same rate for the secondary (which in reality, probably has a less chance of failure, but for the sake of simplicity I assume it is the same) and that gives you a 1 in 360,000 chance of BOTH chutes failing (thus forcing you to hit your new burial site at over 200 MPH). While scary, those are still good odds for survival. And knowing that the thrill is 100% guaranteed, the probability that you will walk away feeling more alive than before outweighs the risk of potentially not being alive anymore.

GWAA: I’m warming up to Bella’s form of mental conditioning and therapy myself. She might have something there. Something grand.

Debbie said...

Skydiving is not on my list. If I want to face mortal fear, I can do so in the Ottawa river perched precariously on a large rubber raft as I stare into a class five rapid.

That is as far as I'll go.

That said, TrueCrig, it is awesome that you grabbed your huevos and went for it.

JustBecause said...

I've been about 60 times and enjoyed every jump and almost every landing... I got bored with it though. I think something is wrong with my adrenaline gland.

Actually, it just takes up a shit-load of time if you don't live less than half an hour away from a drop zone. And yes, it is friggin' expensive until you have all the training and your gear. But then you always want better gear and to travel to different drop zones and so I guess it really never does get any cheaper. LOL

For all you waiting for someone to go with you, keep on...I had to go by myself.