Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Spanish looking typing is easy

But I am not, in any way, literate in the language. But that shouldn't be a problem for me to type the stuff, since I am unable to read it anyhow. No proofreading for this fucking post, yeah!!!

After clicking the "next blog" button somewhere in the neighborhood of five billion times, I have come to the conclusion that this particular blogsphere is comprised chiefly of:

5%--- Instapundit-types (Yes, you are totally making a difference in the presidential race), busted-ass adverts (Welcome to Malaroy Life Insurance Blog! <- you are dumbasses) and misc nothing-writers such as myself.
10%--- Teenagers from Malaysia (I lUrve Ur Bl000000gerz grlz!)
15%--- Teenage girls from the Midwest and Florida (Yes, that boy totally wants you, and that other girl is a total bitch - beat her up tomorrow during phys ed)
70%--- Spanish typists (I have clue: not, what you are typing about, and that gets me totally amped up about your craft)

I want to be part of the majority here. No more marginalization for truecraig, goddamnit. I live in Tejas, and that is close enough to Mejico for me to spout the language like I know it. Without having to bother actually knowing it. Damnit.

To all you Spanish Typist fans out there: I can type Spanish looking stuff too, watch. And don't you worry, those evil Repubicans can't read darkie languages, so don't worry about me offending anyone (yup, spellcheck caught that one). We're soooooo safe here! They can't even decipher your use of front-of-the-statement punctuation! This stuff is like fucking kryptonite to their Superhuman Sensibilities! It is on like... El Kong de Burro.

***Begin truecraig spanish-type now***

?Ahora! !Yo soy una biblioteca muy sobrosa! .Donde esta los pinche gringos con juevos; !Es para mi familia cabron? :Que Suerte!

Pardoname for un momento:

)Los burritos mas buenos, por nada punte en los cabezas estan una vida loca picante. ?Es soy importante en los solamentes para Taco Bell' !Queso en las abuelas por los tios en la casa. Es para usted. ;No mas problemas para los ninos va a Old El Paso o en pais de Dos Equis.

!Los pollos muy barachos. ,Yo tengo una poblano pepper por los chiquitos con Gorditos y Nachos Supreme!

!!Es verdad. !El gordo jefe es una puta grande! ?Callete, es verdad, es puta negra por mi peros blancos!

Fin, putos. Me voy.


Sean said...

For your gringo readers, I've managed to lazily translate this post:

"The good young donkeys but, by anything punte in the heads estan an sharp crazy life. ?Es I am important in the solamentes for I mark Bell' !Queso in the grandmothers by the tios in the house. It is for you. ;No but problems for the ninos goes to Old the Step or in pais of Two X. !Los very barachos chickens. ,Yo I have a poblano Pepper by the very small ones with Gorditos and Nachos Supreme! !!Es truth. !El fat head is one puta great! ?Callete, is truth, is puta black by my white peros! Aim, putos. I go away."

(or that's what it means according to babelfish, anyways)

oscar said...

If "El Gordo Hefe" you mean me, well I guess I'm going to be kicking some ass when I get to Austin... See ya when I get into town Sweet cheeks. Shnarff-Shnarff

Truecraig said...

Oh, there's soooo much more invention to be had here.

!Comida mas pequenos. &Los tenemos dinero para los chiquitas? ...Mijas del noche es muy bonita!

?Queres una sombrero baracho?

See? Now YOU try.

ladykaen said...

well, you got the swear words right...
(i'm so onto you)
so wtf is a pinche canadian grrrl doing knowing more espaƱol than you, eh cabron!? ; )

Truecraig said...

No se, chiquita de norte.

:Burritos mas buenos! ?Nada para los ninos estupidos! %Quieres una cerveza en la biblioteca? !bueno.

Me voy.

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